Category: Parenting

Nov 13

Frame of Reference

Halloween: A cold, ninety minute walk around a suburb teeming with manic parents of chaotic children dressed as every imaginable thing that I never really needed to see, and don’t really appreciate, but have to smile at anyway, or be thought some other type of monster that can’t appreciate the fabricated “cuteness” of the little …

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Oct 20

I Spy Something Brown

Have you ever seen one of those optical illusion photographs where the camera has pulled in so tight on the subject that you have trouble figuring out what you’re looking at? OK, now imagine two or three almonds, still in the shells, in a pile, with no background or frame of reference. Hold that thought.

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Oct 05

A What-inator?

This one needs to be told in a script. Phone rings. Thirteen looks at the caller ID. Thirteen: It’s Uncle D-. I’ll get it. (picks up phone) Hello, this is Pizza Hut…..You want a pizza?…..You want cheese on your pizza? No, we don’t have tacos. You want pizza. Maybe you want an egg rolll pizza. …

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Jun 27

Fast Thinking

Again with the cookies.  I’m starting to think Five needs a 12 step program.  This is not a new policy. 10:00 am the other day and she was already asking for cookies.  I, of course, said, “We haven’t even had lunch yet.”  Then I remembered that she had also opted out of breakfast.  So, I …

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Jun 18

giant cat in a suit

I noticed something the other day that we all know, but it’s more fun on kids. We all have our areas of expertise and then those areas where we aren’t such experts. For instance, although Five is under the impression that I use a razor to scrape soap off my legs, she knows all the …

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Jun 06

Sawed-off Broomstick

A few days ago Five came bumping her way into my bedroom swinging a sawed off broomstick in all directions—and walking with her eyes shut tight about half of the time. Of course I rushed to disarm her even before I asked what she was doing. Come to find out she was playing Robin Hood …

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Jun 06

Socks by Beverly Cleary

Review Almost 40 years old, this book is timeless. The reading level is 9-12 years old and the book is great for kids of that age, especially if they like cats. But as a read together book, Socks is perfect for even the smallest children. This book is on my mind right now because a …

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Apr 06

“Mu-hu-ha-ha-ha!”

You know how cartoon villains act? The gestures, voices, plot-exposing orations. We were treated to a mini, real life, performance the other day. We were at my mom’s house for Sunday dinner which was still being prepared, and Five (years old, that is) came in and asked me for a cookie. When I didn’t give …

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Mar 26

“You heard her! Pray for me!”

Every mom has techniques of self-preservation and survival whether they realize it or not. I know I have them, and I know that they have varying degrees of respectability and worth. I do not feel particularly proud, for instance, when I hear from the back of the house a child’s voice say, “I’m telling,” and …

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